My husband and I have a mixed marriage. He worships at the temple of grains and conventional wisdom and I, as you know, am a dedicated worshipper of all things paleo.
Heck, it doesn’t even need to be about Paleo. Pick any health improvement. Quitting smoking, losing weight, hitting the gym – you get the picture. You’re fully committed, your partner… meh. Not so much.
In a perfect world, you’d both be on the same page. Eating the same meals, complaining about the same brutal workout, getting excited about the same awesome recipes.
In reality, you’re shopping for two different ways of eating, washing pots and pans for two meals, working out alone and fending off constant criticisms about your crazy diet from your beloved.
(Or is that just me?)
So what do you do?
Yeah. That’s a tough one. I don’t really know the answer to that.
On one hand, you could be an excellent role model and encourage your beloved to make those changes – either by getting amazing results yourself or by some other, less subtle, methods.
Or, you could just move forward without your beloved. Tackle it alone and reap the benefits – waiting until some kind signal comes that they might just be ready to make a change.
Which is what I’m doing. I’ve discovered a new community and they (and you) get what I’m doing. I love spending time with people who actively care about their health and aren’t afraid to educate themselves. I’m going overseas alone two times in 2012 and am increasingly just keeping my mouth shut when it comes to anything health related.
We are living totally different lives. This is not the way I thought it would be – but in many ways, it is just easier.
I’m getting sick of watching my husband age so aggressively and see him move further away from me on the “Surviving – Thriving” continuum. I’m also tired of hearing about all of his mental and physical health concerns that I know would be improved by ditching all of the toxins and doing some kind of exercise – the answer is not at the bottom of a bottle of wine a night, or embedded into a violent computer game. But what do I know?
Sometimes you just need to make a choice. Put your own oxygen mask on first, or spend valuable time trying to help (battle with?) someone else to put their oxygen mask on when they just aren’t ready. No one wins in that situation.
None of this is new. There are countless stories of people who have made significant health changes and found that their marriage just isn’t the same anymore.
This post from October “When good health ruins a perfectly good marriage” has stuck with me ever since I read it. If I’m brutally honest, it is probably a little too close to home in some parts. If you haven’t already read it, please go do it.
So, over to you. Are you part of a power-couple or are you making your health changes on your own? Have you succeeded in encouraging your loved ones to make a few changes to their lifestyle?