I’ve had several posts on the go for a while now. None of them have felt right.
- The great results of my latest Whole30 and why I’m finally ready to ride my own bike.
- Why it shits me beyond measure when I see people refer to the Whole30 as a fad diet.
- How I’ve gone with all of the changes that my new financial situation & travel plans have neccessitated.
See, lots of positive stuff (apart from the rant about fad diets). I dunno, I just wasn’t feeling any of it. So I didn’t post a thing.
So this post is a little bit more emotional and personal, I suppose. Read between the lines, if you must.
One thing I’ve really discovered over the past few months is that once you’ve eliminated toxic food from your diet, reintroducing it makes you feel REALLY shit. In the beginning, you keep trying to see if you can tolerate it, because it has happy memories attached to it – but eventually, you realise that even a small dose can really fuck you up. You just eliminate it from your life and move on.
You didn’t really notice when you were eating loads of the bad stuff, you kinda just felt low-level-crap all the time. That was normal. But once you get rid of it, and get used to feeling good, you can really tell the difference.
Well, lately, I’ve realised that it’s the same with toxic people. I have spent a lot of time taking a really hard look at myself, asking the tough questions and making sure that I am as honest and authentic as I can be. It is uncomfortable, but ultimately worth it. Dropping all the bullshit, just like dropping toxic foods is tough, but something I’ll never regret doing.
I am now highly allergic to these toxic people. Excuses, negativity, self-deception, passive-agressiveness. I’m surrounded by it. It has started to physically hurt to be around these people.
This isn’t a judgement. I don’t think I’m better than them. We’re all at our own point in this crazy life. I would like to think that when they are ready, they’ll get uncomfortable and work through whatever they need to work through. Fuck knows that I have much to still work through.
A number of key relationships will not survive this year. I already know that. This is both terrifying and liberating. There are happy memories associated with these relationships and I don’t want to throw that away. But just like my one time beloved ice-cream, even small doses make me really unwell these days – and I’m done with feeling crap.